Of Compliments & My Neuroses

So, some dude paid me a compliment which went along the lines of this: 

“I really like you, you’re intelligent yet beautiful.”

Okay, so an average person may not read that much into it but the “yet” in the sentence bugs the hell outta me.

What, a girl can’t be intelligent AND beautiful? Is it so hard for men to accept that *gasp* there actually are a species of us beautiful women running around with brains? 

To be honest, I’ve received many compliments. Most of them ranging from the common pretty to beautiful to the comments regarding my hairstyle. Which I receive with manners, grace and thanks, because that’s how I was raised.

Now, I’ve a bone to pick with you men: Can’t a woman be complimented on her looks AND BRAINS? 

A word of the wise, if you guys really wanna stand out from the crowd of men; compliment your date or the girl that you’re interested in on her intelligence, or her wit or her excellent command of the Estonian and 9 other languages. Any self-respecting smart woman would not only be flattered, but intrigued at this man who is not intimidated by her intelligence.

Another way would be to indulge in some intelligent and witty banter. READ: Banter. NOT babble. It’s bad enough that society expects us women to titter appreciatively at the most indecent and inane jokes that men crack but most border on the ASININE. Really. 

Me: What mixer would you like with your liquor? 

Asinine asshole: Saliva *laughs like it’s the best joked cracked on the face of the earth*

Me: … *How the fuck am I supposed to process an answer to that moron’s request?* Fine, I’ll just use soda. 

Asinine asshole: No no no! I want your saliva as a mixer! *laughs again*

Oh hilarity abounds. 

Me: *horrified* YOU WANT ME TO SPIT INTO YOUR DRINK?!? WTF?

*walks away*

So, there you go, boys and girls. The best way to impress a girl is to crack the most moronic joke ever, then laugh uproariously. Ha ha ha. 

Note: The above examples are not isolated cases. Therefore, it is safe to assume that mankind is pretty much doomed.

OKAY RANT OVER.